Bumsniffer

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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This is an anti- joke

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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The WNBA

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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