What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

WOw you have no life

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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