How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Gustavo Andrade

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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ugvvvvvv

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Man 1: What's blue and goes blub blub? Man 2: I don't know what? Man 1: A blue blub blub. What's green and goes blub blub? Man 2: A green blub blub? Man 1: There's no such thing as a green blub blub you moron.

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A homeless person dies.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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