One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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