Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Female rights.

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

This is not a joke.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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