Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What is more funny than 8 babies in 1 bin? 1 baby in 8 bins.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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The Holocaust.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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