whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Your mother is a man.

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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42

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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