A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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I asked her where you were.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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time to spruce up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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