Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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