I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

Who is John Galt?

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

9

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

Harry Chappell raped someone

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

Dane Cook makes a joke.

Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...