Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

What is 6 plus 9? 15

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

Roses are red Violets are blue, You are reading jokes online, Go make some friends, or take up knitting because it has many benefits.

3 Jews walk into a bar. Few minutes later a penny is dropped. This resenct occation causes a bar fight to brake out.

Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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