Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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