Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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How long is a china man?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops