What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

666 im christian

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

PENIS lol

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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