If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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