What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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your moms my other ride

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so how about that irline food

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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