What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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62

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops