Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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