what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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Women's rights

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

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How High is a Chinese man

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Knock knock *open*

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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