whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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