What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have no idea how to rhyme, I like tacos

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Water? I hardly know her.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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There was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. The blond was on holiday, the brunette lived there and the red head was there on business, it was a very large and industrial island.

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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