Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

How do you kill a blonde? Well there are many ways, but all of which are wrong because murder is illegal.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

Yo mama's so old, she might die soon


There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.


Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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