Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

What has two legs, and is red all over? Half a cat.

Why the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

Doctor, Doctor. I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your problems. You've got AIDS.

What is a vampire's favourite dessert? Vampires aren't real.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

i dont hate yu i jus really really dislike yu!!!

A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese man all walk in to a magic shop, at different times in the day to buy different products.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

15

Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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