Bob: Hey Jim, if you were a caveman, you would die. Jim: Why? Bob: Cause everybody dies.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? Nothing.She died on Thanksgiving day.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? Nothing, two different species cannot propagate and gene splicing isn't advanced enough to separate the specific traits of an organism.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

Friends are a lot like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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Two fish are in a tank. It is an average sized tank designed to hold aquatic animals.

An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens are very absent-minded creatures. the chances are the chicken saw some form of bug or other edible life form from across the road and decided to venture over in that direction. if the road was not there, the chicken would most likely have still crossed that same expanse of ground, regardless of potential consequences.

Why did the catholic priest get sent to jail? Tax evasion.

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead

I can't think of a joke.

What is more funny than 8 babies in 1 bin? 1 baby in 8 bins.

Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped

What did the African say when he had diarrhea? "I wish I had access to clean water and basic amenities."

What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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