What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

Roses are black, Violets are too. I am colorblind, How about you?

Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

Knock knock. Who's there? Steve Jensen. Oh hi Steve, come in.

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

How did the mexican get into the United States of America? Legally.

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: Nooooo! Darth Vader: Yes.

What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

Why couldn't the Mexican get a proper job? Because of his low socio-economic background and lack of education.

A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her? Substance abuse and loneliness.

there's a irishman, australian and and englishman man on a plane. they are going to france

What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? ni**er

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

A man gets home from work late at night and his wife is already asleep. Then he remembers that he forgot some important papers and has to drive back to work to get them.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

What would Michael Jackson do if he were on the Moon? Nothing he's dead.


A man comes into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man comes into a horse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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