Opinions are like assholes... ...they're both nouns.

So a little girl walks into a bar.. and gets kicked out for being underaged.

What do you call an arab terrorist with a bomb on his back in the middle of an airport? Don't even worry. You will never be able to pronounce his name.

Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

If olive oil is made from olives and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made of? Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.

What animal is green and eats rocks? The green rockeater

Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Laden, how good is your hiding spot? Rhetorical question. Osama Bin Laden is dead now.

Why did the girl cross the road ? Because i was following her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

If you riding a jet-ski amd the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Blue Ice Cream

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Probably not too much considering the socio-economic climate present in the majority of African American communities in our country.

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I'm not quite sure. I only took one year of Japanese in high school.

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? He did not. He drowned


Contrary to popular belief when life hands you lemons you cannot make lemonade. Water and sugar are two other essential ingredients.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? Starve it to death then chop it in pieces.

What's big, grey and can't climb trees? A carpark.


Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

turns out hitler was right... the jews are the cause of the problems in the world

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were going for a walk. They spotted some tracks, and stopped to inspect them. "Those are train tracks." The blonde noted. They agreed, looked both ways, then crossed safely over it.

What is the difference between two little red cubes who are excactly the same in weight lengt colour etc. ??? One is actually a blue ball!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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