Why did paul macartny have plastic surgery? Because he wasn't happy with the looked

wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house? You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

hahah i just thought of a funny joke!!!!!!

What do you get when you cross a duck with a cat? You can't. The current state of genetic engineering will not allow avian DNA and mammalian DNA to be combined.

why did the chicken cross the street? ... ... ... oh... come on, ask why!

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A girl who really needs to see the doctor.

Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

A black guy walked into a convenience store. He then found what he wanted, and paid with his credit card.

13

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? killing their parents first.

A scientists walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him, and asks him what he wants to drink. The scientist replies, "Just a coke, today. I'm driving."

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

What happens if you are in the north pole at a temperature of -2 Cº and you throw a rock to the air in straight line? The green rockeater will eat it

What did one duck say to the other? Quack.

three black men walk into a bar. they where asked polity to leave.

Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

What Did The Boy With No Arms Or Legs Get For Christmas? Cancer.

Two guys walk into a bar to get out of the rain and have a drink after a long day of work. The first guy orders a bottle of imported beer sits down and begins to drink. After waiting his turn the second guy also orders a bottle of imported beer but because he is Polish he does it incorrectly and awkwardly

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...