How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

yo yo yo Niggaz Lol I really didn't have a joke but I REAAALLLLLYYY wants to gets #1 joke so PLEASE like this

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

Why can't you fly? Because Chuck Norris said so.

What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.


What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

What did the sick kid get for cancer? Christmas

How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb? Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you do when you see your wife outside the kitchen? Tell her to enjoy the rest of her day, and you look forward to spending time with her when you both get home from your jobs.

What do you tell a woman with two black guys? Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partners and seek help.

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

A black man went into the sea. What did he become? Wet

Whats the difference between a brick and a Jew? One you throw it at the postmans head, the other is just a brick

Why is this site so stupid? It's no, its the best site ever

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

Q. What is the answer to life? A. 34

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

A man takes a prostitute to a hotel room, right? The woman is a federal agent, assigned to investigate high prostitution levels in the area. The man is promptly arrested, and now a large fine and up to 90 days in a correctional facility.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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