- Anti Joke

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

I'm off to my tank guys!

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go NSYNC and disappear cause NSYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.