- Anti Joke

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

9

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

Netflix and chill

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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