What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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Get in the car.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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