My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Neither does he.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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