How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

I ponder

it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

An irish man walks out of a bar

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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