Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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The Pope

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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Women's rights

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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