DESERT

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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You're welcome!

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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