Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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Poop swing

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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