Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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