Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops