Why did the kitchen cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops