roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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