If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sac

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops