Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Penis

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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