- Anti Joke

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

captcha: all yer base

What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

oh no, i've lost my tractor

womens rights

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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