- Anti Joke

How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

Welcome to die!

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... __/\_/\_/\_________________

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

heads up!

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

Harry Styles

why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

What's big and fat? An obese man.

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

What's black and white and red all over? Colors

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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