why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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