How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops