Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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what do you call a dead black man? dead

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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