What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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hi

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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