When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Woman Rights

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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