Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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