An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I would rape her

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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