Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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