*spongebob voice* 25

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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I can't see my forehead

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Twenty-Four

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops