How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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