Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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crap!!

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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69

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HEY YOU!!!!

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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My life :(

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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